Thursday, March 27, 2008

Easter Blessings and New Insights

After a long day on Saturday looking for an Easter dress for myself, I finally found one that matched the girls' dresses. And you know what? We were all in polka dots! Yep, that's right. Even Yeadon had dots on his tie. We had a big family dinner and an Easter egg hunt. Overall it was a fabulous day. Sadly, though, the next few days with Kayden Grace have been difficult. I don't know if it's because she was overstimulated by all the people or what, but she had a mean-spiritedness towards her sister that we haven't seen before now. She has pushed Kaelin on several occasions for no reason, she's glared at us with an ugly little scowl just because we've said "no" to her, and she's shoved leaves (that were in the slider door track) into her sister's mouth. Tuesday night I had to leave the house to get some air and a new perspective on parenting. I drove down to the nearest Starbuck's, got my favorite non-coffee drink, and sat in the parking lot, crying. I cried out to God for help because I just didn't know what to do. I called my bestest friend in Colorado, even though it was late, and cried. I knew that she would understand and be able to give me some advice on difficult children. I was right. She did give me helpful, insightful, and Godly advice and after our conversation I felt better. Thanks, Nikki! I determined in my heart that God gave me my children for a reason and I needed to change my approach to parenting. He didn't have to give them to me, but He did, and I better live up to His expectations, not my own. And if I'm to be the parent my kids need, then I'm going to have to constantly be in His Word (no matter how tired I am) and I'm going to have to be on my knees in prayer (literally!) in order to hear what the Lord would have me do or say or think in concerns to my children. So that's what I've done. The past two days have found me awake an hour before my children (which is HARD!!), reading my Bible and laying my concerns and fears and frustrations about my children before the Lord. I have decided to take a more serious approach to discipline because the time out chair is not working. I do not believe in beating my children, but I do believe in spanking. And when you have a child who is about to be 2 and has not been consistently disciplined, you have to do what works. I know that God wants the best for my children and for me and I want to be the best for Him. So, here's to a new mom. Here's to constant-on-my-knees prayer and daily "meals" in God's Word. Please, pray for my kids, my husband, and me as we try to live our lives according to God's plan, not our own.

1 comment:

hope said...

perhaps we should have that dinner/coffee date now? :)

i adore you...keep your chin up, hunny!