Thursday, March 27, 2008

Easter Blessings and New Insights

After a long day on Saturday looking for an Easter dress for myself, I finally found one that matched the girls' dresses. And you know what? We were all in polka dots! Yep, that's right. Even Yeadon had dots on his tie. We had a big family dinner and an Easter egg hunt. Overall it was a fabulous day. Sadly, though, the next few days with Kayden Grace have been difficult. I don't know if it's because she was overstimulated by all the people or what, but she had a mean-spiritedness towards her sister that we haven't seen before now. She has pushed Kaelin on several occasions for no reason, she's glared at us with an ugly little scowl just because we've said "no" to her, and she's shoved leaves (that were in the slider door track) into her sister's mouth. Tuesday night I had to leave the house to get some air and a new perspective on parenting. I drove down to the nearest Starbuck's, got my favorite non-coffee drink, and sat in the parking lot, crying. I cried out to God for help because I just didn't know what to do. I called my bestest friend in Colorado, even though it was late, and cried. I knew that she would understand and be able to give me some advice on difficult children. I was right. She did give me helpful, insightful, and Godly advice and after our conversation I felt better. Thanks, Nikki! I determined in my heart that God gave me my children for a reason and I needed to change my approach to parenting. He didn't have to give them to me, but He did, and I better live up to His expectations, not my own. And if I'm to be the parent my kids need, then I'm going to have to constantly be in His Word (no matter how tired I am) and I'm going to have to be on my knees in prayer (literally!) in order to hear what the Lord would have me do or say or think in concerns to my children. So that's what I've done. The past two days have found me awake an hour before my children (which is HARD!!), reading my Bible and laying my concerns and fears and frustrations about my children before the Lord. I have decided to take a more serious approach to discipline because the time out chair is not working. I do not believe in beating my children, but I do believe in spanking. And when you have a child who is about to be 2 and has not been consistently disciplined, you have to do what works. I know that God wants the best for my children and for me and I want to be the best for Him. So, here's to a new mom. Here's to constant-on-my-knees prayer and daily "meals" in God's Word. Please, pray for my kids, my husband, and me as we try to live our lives according to God's plan, not our own.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Dying Eggs

Can I just say that dying Easter eggs was definitely an adventure?? We had a VERY long day on Saturday looking for Easter dresses and the girls did amazingly well. Suffice it to say after running to the grocery store twice for food for Easter Sunday, it was after 8:00pm when I got home to help with the eggs, which is a half an hour after Kayden Grace's bedtime. Kaelin is teething (AGAIN!!) so she was cranky and fussy and Kayden Grace was just ready for bed. Oh well. You learn, right? We'll get the timing down one of these days and life will be grand. So here's to a valiant effort and a learning experience. Enjoy! (And yes, I do know that my kids look like raggamuffins, but hey! They're dying eggs for crying out loud! Hee hee hee)

Kaelin would have much rather dumped the entire contents of the coloring cups all over herself and the table, but luckily we were always one step ahead of her!

Not a very happy camper, was she? Oh, well! Life goes on even in the midst of a breakdown.

Friday, March 21, 2008

It's all about Kayden Grace

Sorry it's taken so long to post anything. We just haven't done anything, not many pictures have been taken, and life has just kinda been pittering along. Not that I'm complaining, mind you! We started potty training Kayden Grace this week... let's just say... I don't have the patience of Job! I'm already done with it. I figure, if she stays in diapers until she's 80, what's the harm?? Just kidding.. sort of... Anyway... We're gearing up for Easter this weekend, which is going to be pretty cool. I didn't realize how much I've wanted children with whom to celebrate the holidays! We are going to dye Easter eggs tomorrow and then we'll have an egg hunt after church on Sunday (minus any mention of the Easter bunny!) We're not so keen on giving our kids candy or toys that they really won't play with after an hour, so we're just doing the egg hunt and we got Kayden some bubbles. We're having a big family dinner which will be fun and well, we're just going to enjoy being together and having the blessings of our girls. Isn't God amazing?? Who would have thought that after almost 9 years of infertility we would have two amazing children in less than a year? And, siblings at that! What a great way to celebrate the resurrection of our Lord! In remembrance of all He did for us so long ago and what He continues to do for us on a daily basis.

Can you tell that Kayden doesn't like getting her picture taken? She is constantly on the move and won't sit still for anything. The jean dress pictures were taken before church a couple of weekends ago... did you see the look she gave Yeadon because he was asking her to sit down for a minute so he could take her picture. She was not a happy camper! In spite of her two-year old dislike of anything calm, she is still a cutie patootie!

Sunday, March 9, 2008

Alive Again!!!

Yes... I am alive! Can I just say the last 5 days of my life have been MISERABLE!!! It started last Tuesday night.. I went to a home study and as I was leaving I realized my throat was sore. I thought maybe I was allergic to their long haired cat... Not so! I ended up sick the next day. So sick, in fact, that I thought I was going to die and I started planning my funeral. Sad to say, but, yes, I felt THAT sick! The T.V. was on all day and I could barely keep my eyes open to watch the girls. I was literally counting the minutes until Yeadon would be home because I was sure I was not going to make it. I thought I was getting better by Thursday, but on Friday I went to the Urgent Care because I was so sick, AGAIN! Yes, I went to Urgent Care because my physician was not available and all the other 7 doctors in the same group were out of the office as well. Can I say I was a bit peaved?!?! Anyway, the Urgent Care Dr. prescribed an antibiotic and cough medicine. He couldn't narrow down all the things I could have, so he figured he would just cover all the bases and give me medication that may or may not work. Let's just say that yesterday I wanted to curse all medical professionals and their lack of... well, whatever they lack I wanted to curse! Not only did I hurt all over, but I had one of the worst migraines of my life and I wanted to die (AGAIN!) And it didn't help that Yead had a final this weekend that he had to study for and I felt awful for having to depend on his help because I could barely breathe let alone take care of the girls. Suffice it to say, I woke up this morning SO MUCH BETTER! Praise God! I have not been that sick for years and having kids on top of it makes it even worse. So, although I've been living on death's doorstep for the past few days, I do have these cutie patootie pictures to share with you. Hope this finds you happy and germ free!

I was unable to attend my MOPS (Mother's of Preschoolers) group this week because I was sick. However, my friend, Petrina, was able to go and she brought me all sorts of goodies, one of which was this crown. There are actually two crowns, but I took this picture of Kaelin when Kayden Grace was taking her nap so I couldn't capture both girls with their crowns. (Can you believe she's almost 9 months old?!?)

I decided to buy some of the mega big blocks for Kayden Grace to see if she would play with something on her own. She always wants me to play with her, which is fine, but once I stop playing with her she stops playing. So I wanted something that would encourage her to play on her own. She loves these blocks! I've gotten to the point where I have to limit the amount of time she plays with them or else they lay scattered all over the living room while she's playing with something else. In spite of the mess they make, I'm so glad we have found something she can do on her own and which she truly enjoys doing on her own.

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

A little progress...

For those of you that I talk to on a regular basis, you know that I've been struggling with what to do with Kayden Grace. She has her moments of love for Yeadon and I, but most of the time we both feel that she hasn't bonded with us. She's constantly testing us to see what we'll do in the way of discipling her, and when told "no" she will often throw a fit. This isn't to say that she's a bad girl or that we don't completely adore her. It's just to say, this is harder than we thought. Kaelin was able to bond with us because we've had her since birth; Kayden is still trying to figure out if we are going to stick around long enough for her to care about us. I've talked to friends, family, even our old case worker just trying to figure what we should be doing to let her know we love her and that we aren't going anywhere. Here's some of the advice that's been given to us:
- It's only been 2 months, give it time.
- Be consistent. Consistency will in time win her over.
- Give her one on one time with just Yeadon and I.
- Give her a specific object to get mad at (a pillow, a blow-up punching doll, etc.) so she will have a "safe way" to let out her anger.
- At specific times, feed her and give her a drink like she's a baby, letting her feel that special bond that you get when you feed a baby.
- Think of her as a mini teenager who just can't verbalize what she's feeling or what she wants

All of these suggestions (and many more) have been given in love and with the attitude of helping. I'm so grateful for all of you who have been a loving, listening ear to my frustrations and concerns.

Well.... this morning something was different, not just in Kayden's attitude toward me, but in my attitude towards her. I don't know if it's all the prayers that have been sent heavenward for our family, or if we both just realized that we're not going to give up on each other... but something was definitely different. Kayden didn't hover around the kitchen waiting to eat breakfast. She came out of her room and started playing with Kaelin and their toys, without being asked to do so. She ate her breakfast slowly (instead of inhaling everything) and was content to be let down from the table once she was done without throwing a fit that there was no more food to eat. After showering, she was calm and let me dress her without fuss and then let me do her hair. She even let me put a headband in her hair (which didn't last much longer than the picture!). Plain and simple, she has been the delight of my heart today (in most things) in a way that hasn't been experienced since she came to be part of our family. It was almost like she realized it's not worth fighting us on everything and she is content to let us love her. What a change! I was able to be her mom today without feeling like I was being the bad guy over and over. Praise God! I've felt like I was failing her in so many ways and today Jesus' love for both of us was so evident in the way we behaved toward each other. So here's to all your prayers and advice... See my Beautiful, God-given daughter and love her as I love her.