What does it mean to be pursued?
I just finished a book (yes, ficiton..., but one that inspired some deep spiritual thoughts for me). It was set in the time of the Puritans. I could not have lived that life! I would have felt hopeless and insufficient... On top of living a life void of any God-given pleasures. Plus I'm WAY too outspoken to have kept silent over certain things! Anyway... This book was about being pursued by God and our worthiness to be pursued...
How could the God of the universe want to pursue me on a daily, hourly, minute-ly basis? Why would He? What do I have to offer to the One who is pure and loving and good? I remember feeling so inadequate and unworthy when my husband and I were first dating. I had been in bad relationships, ungodly relationships... relationships that left scars on my heart. I just couldn't accept his love at first. I couldn't accept that he would want me, baggage and all. But he did, and still does. And isn't that what our loving Father does? He accepts us, ugliness and all, and wants to love us in a way that completes us and covers the stains of the past. And why? Why me? I fail on a daily, hourly, minute-ly basis.
I am human. I make choices: sometimes right, sometimes wrong. I cannot do everything right all day long. I barely do things right even part of the time. I fail. I cringe at the mistakes I've made... and yet He is still there. Waiting. Longing for me. Aching for me to see Him as He deserves to be seen. He still pursues me even when I don't take the time to be pursued. How would my relationship with my husband have survived if I had not let him pursue me? If I had not allowed my desires for him overcome my insecurities, my past hurts?
Why is it that we seek to make our physical relationships with spouses, children, family, and friends as good as they can be, but we neglect the most important relationship of our lives? We don't pursue the only One that can love us unconditionally, the only One who sees us for who and what we are, and STILL desires us with a holy love. Why can't we let go of the world's standards and look with all of our being to Him who deserves to be adored, cherished, and yes, pursued?
What would our relationship look like if we took the time every day to just pursue our Lord? And not the way everyone says we should. I will never say that reading the Bible, singing praises, spending time in prayer, or just having quiet time with Jesus is in ANY way an unacceptable form or pursuit! But what if we changed our thoughts? What if we go about our quiet time with an attitude of pursuit? What if we seek after Him with the same intensity that goes into choosing our mates? Or caring for our children? What if we pursue Him with the same longing and desire that our hearts have when we are first being courted by the one who will be our partner in life?
So what now...? What does this have to do with me?
I don't know.
But, I do know this: My God is big, and good, and loving. And he DESIRES me with a holy love. He sees me for who I am, faults and all, and is not scared by what He sees. He will never stop pursuing me, and when I am able to give up my selfishness, my weaknesses, my inadequacies, then I can begin pursuing Him with all that I am in the manner He deserves.
Maybe, just maybe, this is the beginning of that pursuit.
When words become actions.
When actions become habits.
When habits become a holy fire that inflame everything and everyone that I touch...
And in turn, maybe I can finally seek after... no, pursue, the only One who truly deserves my holy adoration and esteem.