To be pursued...

What does it mean to be pursued?

I just finished a book (yes, ficiton..., but one that inspired some deep spiritual thoughts for me). It was set in the time of the Puritans. I could not have lived that life! I would have felt hopeless and insufficient... On top of living a life void of any God-given pleasures. Plus I'm WAY too outspoken to have kept silent over certain things! Anyway... This book was about being pursued by God and our worthiness to be pursued...

How could the God of the universe want to pursue me on a daily, hourly, minute-ly basis? Why would He? What do I have to offer to the One who is pure and loving and good? I remember feeling so inadequate and unworthy when my husband and I were first dating. I had been in bad relationships, ungodly relationships... relationships that left scars on my heart. I just couldn't accept his love at first. I couldn't accept that he would want me, baggage and all. But he did, and still does. And isn't that what our loving Father does? He accepts us, ugliness and all, and wants to love us in a way that completes us and covers the stains of the past. And why? Why me? I fail on a daily, hourly, minute-ly basis.

I am human. I make choices: sometimes right, sometimes wrong. I cannot do everything right all day long. I barely do things right even part of the time. I fail. I cringe at the mistakes I've made... and yet He is still there. Waiting. Longing for me. Aching for me to see Him as He deserves to be seen. He still pursues me even when I don't take the time to be pursued. How would my relationship with my husband have survived if I had not let him pursue me? If I had not allowed my desires for him overcome my insecurities, my past hurts?

Why is it that we seek to make our physical relationships with spouses, children, family, and friends as good as they can be, but we neglect the most important relationship of our lives? We don't pursue the only One that can love us unconditionally, the only One who sees us for who and what we are, and STILL desires us with a holy love. Why can't we let go of the world's standards and look with all of our being to Him who deserves to be adored, cherished, and yes, pursued?

What would our relationship look like if we took the time every day to just pursue our Lord? And not the way everyone says we should. I will never say that reading the Bible, singing praises, spending time in prayer, or just having quiet time with Jesus is in ANY way an unacceptable form or pursuit! But what if we changed our thoughts? What if we go about our quiet time with an attitude of pursuit? What if we seek after Him with the same intensity that goes into choosing our mates? Or caring for our children? What if we pursue Him with the same longing and desire that our hearts have when we are first being courted by the one who will be our partner in life?

So what now...? What does this have to do with me?

I don't know.

But, I do know this: My God is big, and good, and loving. And he DESIRES me with a holy love. He sees me for who I am, faults and all, and is not scared by what He sees. He will never stop pursuing me, and when I am able to give up my selfishness, my weaknesses, my inadequacies, then I can begin pursuing Him with all that I am in the manner He deserves.

Maybe, just maybe, this is the beginning of that pursuit.

When words become actions.

When actions become habits.

When habits become a holy fire that inflame everything and everyone that I touch...

And in turn, maybe I can finally seek after... no, pursue, the only One who truly deserves my holy adoration and esteem.

Prima Ballerina and a Guppie

My girlies are so stinkin' cute, if I do say so myself! We decided to get them into some sort of physical activity, so we chose ballet for Kayden and swimming for Kaelin. Perfect! Here's some videos of the rising stars in action:

Isn't she SO beautiful?!?



She just dove right on in, no fear, and took off! It was SOOO much fun to watch her. I'm pretty sure she's the youngest in the class as well.

this is what happens...

When I have five home studies and classes for my license... This is only TWO of the piles of laundry that have to be done... It's going to be a LONG road back to the land of the clean clothes!

And this is a what happens when a two and half year old has a room full of toys all to herself... Pure concentration and utter enjoyment!

and so it begins again...

Another year under our belts... Another birthday gone by... Life just doesn't slow down does it? We think that maybe this will be the year that we feel like we will accomplish all that we set out to do. I guess what's really important is that we do all that GOD sets out for us without whining and complaining along the way. If I've learned nothing else from the past year is that God's ways are not mine, and if I don't fight Him along the way, then the journey, whether good or bad, will somehow turn out ok. I've learned alot about myself, my hunny, and my kiddos this past year. I've learned things that work and things that I won't ever do again. I've learned that perfection only worked for Jesus and the rest of us can only hope to be the best we can be and we should accept our faults when they happen. I've come to the conclusion that sometimes our expectations about ourselves do not fit with God's expectations for us, and that makes for some deep soul searching to figure out what we need to do to come into alignement with the perfect will of a perfect God. The beginning of a new year brought some new resolutions... I'm not one to make New Year's resolutions, but this year feels different somehow... I feel I need to make some life changes in order to be prepared for whatever the Lord has planned...

So, here are my goals:

-Lose 30 pounds in a healthy manner

-Excercise with my husband on a daily basis

-Get in shape enough to run a half-marathon

-Cook through a cookbook with my hunny in order to eat healthy and spend time together

-Make quilts for the homeless


If any of these appeal to you, I would welcome the company on the journey. I feel that these are attainable goals and God inspired desires.

Just in case my thoughts and processes were not entertaining enough... Here's my girl, getting all grown up!

count your blessings, one by one

Here are my blessings. God gave me the greatest gifts! He's given me my salvation, my husband, and these great kids! My family is pretty awesome, too! Oh, yeah! And my friends... Gotta lova all of them! God is so good.

Pretty Fairy Princess Kaydence.
Rah, Rah, Rah! Go Kayden Grace!

Beautiful Bride, Kailey... Ummmmm, how bout we slow down, she's growing up so fast!

All of our girlies. Aren't they gorgeous?

And we wouldn't be complete without a runaway fairy bride... That's my girl, Kaelin!

Picnic, Anyone?

I made this quilt with the intent of using it as our picnic blanket. Yeah... The weather's changed, so it didn't make it outside this year. But... We have had two picnics inside, which have been worth it! Last weekend Nana was in town so we had Chinese food on the picnic blanket while watching Olivia. Tonight we had Mac and Cheese (or as Kaelin likes to call it, Monkey Cheese) and watched the new Tinkerbell movie. Love it! My girls get so excited when they see the quilt. They know what's coming when I put it on the floor. I love the little joys in life, don't you?

Sidenote: I don't know what the little smug is, sorry!

The Miscellaneousness of Life

I don't know how a month has gone by with nothing on the blog front. Oh well. Life I suppose has had other plans. Well, here are many pictures of very random events over the past month. I hope you enjoy!

This is Kayden reading her new AWANA book. She's doing so well with her verses. Her teachers are aware of her speech delay and they are willing to work with her. It's been great!

Remember Kayden's birthday dress? I had this pattern for pants, but I just didn't get them done for her birthday. I made these with the left over fabric from her dress. She LOVES them! They are super cute on her, too. I thought they were going to look a bit clownish, but they don't. They look very chic and boutique-ish! She gets lots of comments on this outfit whenever she wears it.


I decided I needed to find something to do with the girls that would keep them occupied for a few minutes at least. I dyed some pasta with food coloring then let the pasta air dry. I figured the girls could make necklaces that they could wear (but couldn't eat!). They loved the idea. For some reason, though, Kaelin is much more coordinated putting the "beads" on the string than Kayden is. Don't you love Kaelin's outfit?? She is very into dressing up as a princess, as you can see. She was making this necklace for Nana Susan when she was in town this past weekend. She got very focused on making this necklace. Don't you love her concentration?

And lastly, this is Kaelin helping her sister put beads on the string. Kayden was much more interested in getting her picture taken.